I am filled with disappoinment.
The results i get are far more worst than i had thought.
I predicted that i would fail.
But this is too much.
I may be smiling.
But theres sorrows behind every muscle that made a smile.

All i could do now is to cherish all their faces.
Their character.
Attitude.
Their smiles.
And their deeds.

I am going to miss them.
Moreover, i will be missing my home.
Its so fast.
5 years, seems like 5 months.

I shall not get carried away.
No way im being emo at this time.
Cos im fasting. No bread. No Vanilla Coke.

And i Miss You.

Have to push myself harder.
The ultimate outcome are here in a few weeks more.

I am now missing you soo much.
1 Mnth without holding your hands, and giving you a kiss
Its an obstacle for our relationship.
To my lovely dear, hope you dont worry yourself about me.
Cos im always here, loving everysingle moment we spent togather and missing every part of you.
Although I will be seeing you for the next 2 weeks, im still missing you badly.
Words cant describe better than my feelings.


Here i am, Just took a break from packing my belongings to move out of the house in a few weeks time. I will miss my childhood memories, living in this area, for 17 years.
I miss those stupid dogs which barks in the middle of the night.
The bloody motorcyclist who starts off his crappy motorcycle.
That street Lamp post which always brighten up my room in the night.
The school view.
The laughter those kids made while playing at a playground nearby .
And miss those routes i took when walking back home.

Haiz.
2 more weeks, and still, so little time for me to cherish everything.
And Im not eating any bread eventhough im abit emo cos im fasting.
haha.


Well, thats all i've got to say.
Looking forward to prom night and my O lvls.
I planned where i wanna go.

Plan A
Plan B
And Plan C
If you wanna know,
Come and ask me.

Rhyme yeah?

Sign,
Hans

Black Fedora Hat.
Black Blazer Jacket
Pinstripe Pants.

Sometimes its better to hold onto our dear life than falling from the edge.
You have to be more optimistic.
Have to persevere.
Sometimes, you really have to say the words that are never meant to be.
Like the sun setting in the eastern horrizon sea.


Is the world really changing to the maximum of modern era?
Such that all those cultural activities,
Mutual Respects, And others will perish?
Is the word, "career" so big for you guys?
Untill, you are too obsessed with living your ownselves?
Or issit are you afraid to fall into a relationship?
No second chance?
Or is it you would never want to give it a second chance?
In career, you would and must give it a try.
But in other things?

Stop that low self esteem of yours.
A person with brains but without heart?
Heart and feelings that are so hard?
Numbing yourself and enduring are different.
And yes, sometimes you have to numb.
But for a while.
But Numbing too much may result in a worst state such as you dosent have feelings anymore.


Up to you. I dont have anymore advice to share.
Up to you, I aint debating or whatelse.
My blog, My life.


Sign,
Hans.

Went to "night study" and ended up playing soccer again.
Went back home, and guess what, at the 4th staircase, a couple was having sex!
Damn. How lucky i am yah..yar lucky...wth...
Saw those...nvm.
Should not tell you guys.
Im still freaking out.
Shitto!!!


Ok good night.
*damn, still im freaking out!*

Sorry dear. Muah! Love You.

Im trying soo hard to understand you.
But you didnt even call me and make the statement.
And you expect me to tell you my stuff?
Its only a week, and you act like this?
Love may come and go.
Be mindfull of that.

I dont know what went wrong
I dont know why you act to your oldself back.
I know im bad in expressing things.
And you too, you, yes you, are always thinking im in a fury.
Whats the matter?
You really made me gone mad.
By enduring all those shits you showed me,
Im still looking onto the brightside.
But are you?
Are you going to do anything?
Hope so.
But Why, oh why, Must you need me to control you?
I still dont understand.
I really dont understand.
I know, im bad in this relationship.
Yes, you may not say that,
But i am.


Tell you the truth, you really blew my mind yesterday night.
You stabbed my heart like you never did.
And i thank you for that.
For just asking me to throw that FUCKING THING which you want to give me...
Thank you soo much for just being a whatever you call yourself.
I really dosent understand you.
A sudden change?
and that sudden oldself?
Fine then, im not goona react.

And to others, This is between me and her.
Dont put your finger on this messed up pie.
Thank you.

Domo-kun! Attack!!!



i saw a mountain that seemed too high to climb
like a math problem from my school days
where i would chew on the end of a pencil
but could never quite come up with the solution
and i sat at the foot of this mountain
and i cried

until there was you


like a set of steps carved into the face of rock
or a way to crawl out of the darkest tunnel
you've taken the load of my past hurts and present scars
and you wear them well on you
they seem to weigh nothing
the wounds don't bleed fresh

every day i'm not picking them open
just to remember what it was like to feel something
anything
because with you i feel
(everything)

this is the story that you've started to carve
in fountain ink pen on the pages of me
little girl broken at the foot of dreams
(dreams i gave up because they seemed fleeting as the idea of waiting all night for a shooting star)
you plucked them one by one from the clouds
and traced their essence back into my heart

little girl broken at the foot of love
(love only hurts i thought and tossed the remnants of his soul to the wind hoping that i would feel him no more)
you molded the shape of it's beauty around my face
making me shine you took my tentative hand
and picked the way through thorns and rocks
and we climbed that mountain one foot step
one hour one day
until we reached the top
now there spread out before me
is every dream every sweet honey
taste of love every happy moment i had
ever given up on the whole world laid at my feet
(because you showed me)
a world i thought was lost

until there was you

Wah, Buried Myself alive. By The Used.
If ya wanna practice...

So much for today, i numb myself alot of times. Dnt was a great showtime for me as i am 95% from finishing my folio. Monday will be the last day i ever touch that torturing folio.
I hope all my dnt class mate will get through this.
Jia You.
I would sometimes think otherwise to anticipate a move or to let the matter resolve.
I wonder if i made the right choice on my emotion so no to hurt people around me.
I am trying hard to control my anger. And i mean VERY hard. Its like a mini volcanoe heart that you stuff alot of ice into it.
I guess it works. Im keeping alot of cool in me till i numb myself. Hope i wont be just like Gary.
No no..no way. I think i better put my dreams asleep1st, so that tomorrow will be a new fresh dream to be awaken.


All i need now is trust, confidence and lots of ice.

Guess what!?
I still love you guys!
Haha!

Today was a big disappointment for me for comming to school for nothing.
I had an intention to study for geo today.
Guess what, the teachers are not in school.
Same Goes with Dnt.
Mr Loh postponed the lesson to tomorrow because today, he wanted to settle the sec 4e's problems.
Ok then. AS long as he didnt screw up our O lvl, thats good enough.

Since there are no lesson today, we played soccer for a while at the school field.
Went back home and started revising geography.
And the rest of the day was a boredom to me.

Im missing my scandal.
Eurgh!
Happy eating!


I guess, its better for us to be togather. im sure this will last till the end if we put our heart and soul to it. Kay?
Muah.

Stupid Blog...
For Goodness Sake, Please lah Admin, Increase the bandwith.
Haiyo.

Really had a great day today.
Me, the only malay race, mixed with the chinese race.
Multi racial!
Wooho!
they are cool dudes and Babes.
Did i mention that?
well..haha..

And to top up the craziness,
Saw a swimmer drowned for the 1st time!
Lucky he was revived.
eerie!

Ok. Enjoy the pics 1st. Damnit. Still ahve about 10 more pics to upload.
Going to start to mug tomorrow.
Start with chem!
Ok, turra!

I was deliberately shock about yesterday's news.
The most daring Croc Hunter, and and environmentalist died due to stung by a stingray.
At 1st, i thought it was a kind of joke as my mother told me the news because she herself not a fan of him.
But as i read the news, its starts to hit me back to reality.
He really died.

Im felt remorse on his lost, but at the same time, i felt proud that he done a great job in saving the environment.

My condolence, May You Rest In Peace My hero.
And to his family, Your hero saved alot of creatures. He did great.
Peace~

Well. the outing was fun. But i am dissapointed to some extend.
I see that there are no teamwork and bondings in the 5Ns.
All walk with their own groups.
I am disappointed that when i called them, they didnt even glance at me.
And finally, they misunderstood my behaviour?

I wanted to tell my friend, the one i knew almost 5 years, about her mistake.
But she disagreed to my statements.
She said shes fine.
Ok.
It really hurts me to find out shes change.
Only GOD knows.
Hope she will be find.
I am not going to step into any sides.

I had enough of this.
The class are tearing apart.

All i want is a happy ending for the class.
But since this is reality.
All i can do is try my best to keep the bond.
It takes 2 hands to clap.
But....sigh.

I realised my mistake.
I am in very bad state this week.
i mean, the worst.
Alot of things happen.
I just feed the fire with oil.


How Stupid i am anyways.

To the 5ns.

Please, remember, to be punctual for tomorrow's gathering.

Dont Forget to wear class T shirts.

And Bring Digi Cams!

We must cherish tomorrow's outing yeah!

Wooh Rock On! \m/

YUN! this does really look like you! hahaha.